When most people think of domestic violence I’m sure their initial thoughts turn towards physical abuse. The outward signs of cuts and bruises allow us some insight into another person’s home environment – we may feel sorry for them, we may even try to offer advice and provide a practical solution for them. But what happens when the form of domestic violence is emotional abuse. Who is going to notice the impact it has on an individual? After all, just because there aren’t any physical signs it doesn’t mean that the person isn’t hurting or doesn’t need a hand healing.

Having grown up in a family dominated by arrogant males I have witnessed several forms of emotional abuse – most common of all unadulterated swearing. I’ve had to witness my mum take the brunt of the harsh words spoken and shouted by both my dad and my brother; and I have always felt so pathetic and helpless not being able to shield her from it. Yet it is in those moments that I see the people in my house for what they truly are. The men are weak. Unable to exercise even the slightest bit self control over their own emotional state, they let rip aiming in the direction they believe to be the weakest link. But my mum in actual fact is the strongest person I know.

I realise now that men may have more physical strength than us women but what they lack, and what is even more crucial, is mental strength. On so many occasions I have watched my mum take abuse and not say anything in return. This silence is not driven by fear but by defiance. She refuses to react; because shouting or swearing back would be easy, it’s what any abuser is waiting for – a reason to justify and reaffirm their actions. So instead my mum just holds it together. She is our glue.